New Year's Resolutions and most people tend not to agree so well. January starts off in a flurry of adventure but then it fizzles fairly quickly to just another broken promise. But because it was to yourself, it doesn't count, right? I have a friend who actively avoids the gym for January/February because that's when the rush for those who have decided the new year is a time to get in shape go to the gym and then quickly forget that they decided it was a good idea to remain active. By March, attendance at the gym is back to pre-January levels and it's clear to return if you're a regular.
Resolutions are no more than habits you intend to either break or create. I resolve to eat less - the habit of eating when you're bored, sad, near a kitchen, by a coffee shop. I resolve to move more - the habit of sitting on your couch, laying in your bed, allowing your anxiety of looking stupid to other people get in the way of taking care of yourself. I resolve to talk to my family more - the habit of allowing your gaming to take your prime time, the habit of allowing your fear of what old fights might be rekindled when you pick up the phone, the habit of actively avoiding communication with the outside world.
For some reason January is the time when people think Resolutions must begin. New year = new you, perhaps.
About 18 months ago, I was sitting in a counsellor's office talking about something that was going on at the time (don't worry - I made it through and things are much better now). He asked me what changes I would like to make to be happier. The first, immediate, responses I gave were to move to a different place to live and to find a job that was different than what I had been doing for the better part of a decade. Makes sense - new setting for living and a more challenging work environment that allows for use of different talents and encourages the use of my brain in new ways. But then I did nothing about it. We stayed in the same, small apartment with management that didn't really seem to care that we lived there and were paying them money for a specific service, and at the same job, that was great for the people, but not allowing me to try new things and branch out in what I was capable of doing.
Those changed this year, despite not really planning for them, or making resolutions to see them changed. A flooded bathroom encouraged us to find a house. An unexpected call from a friend to apply for a job opening at his company encouraged me to go off on a tangent and try something new. It's still too early to see the outcomes of either of those moves, but it was the change I was hoping for 18 months ago.
After reading through Gretchen Rubin's book, "Better Than Before" twice this year (one time through the audio book and another through the paperback), which focuses on habit formation, it reminded me that habits don't need to wait until a new year to begin. The best time to begin is now - as she puts it, "When you're ready to begin, begin now."
And so I have some resolutions that I would like to work on, not because it's a new year, but because I know that things will be better off for me doing them:
- Read at least 6 works of fiction this year that I have not read before
- Go on a 1 hour walk at least 2 times per week
- Re-paint at least 2 rooms in our house to make the decorating style our own by May
- Learn basic electrical skills and put it to use by replacing two ceiling fans and three electrical sockets
So I'll try again, not only because it's a new year, but it's a habit that I'd like to form. And here we continue in the adventure that is life. Whee.
