Courtesy of www.pakin.org/complaint
---
I am writing on behalf of myself and a few of my friends to state that The_Man's theories are worthy of a good flush down the toilet. Let's start with my claim that today, we might have let The_Man dress up his profit motive in the cloak of selfless altruism. Tomorrow, we won't. Instead, we will lead the way to the future, not to the past. You might have heard the story that he once agreed to help us debunk the nonsense spouted by his peons. No one has located the document in which The_Man said that. No one has identified when or where The_Man said that. That's because he never said it. As you might have suspected, perhaps one day we will live in a world where good people are not troubled by fear of socially inept, contemptuous nutcases. Until that day arrives, however, we must spread the word that The_Man insists that totalitarianism can quell the hatred and disorder in our society. This fraud, this lie, is just one among the thousands he perpetrates. Every time The_Man utters or writes a statement that supports vandalism -- even indirectly -- it sends a message that The_Man is a paragon of morality and wisdom. I contend we mustn't let him make such statements, partly because he considers "honesty" to be a dirty word, but primarily because if he truly believes that he is as innocent as a newborn lamb, then maybe he should enroll in Introduction to Reality 101. The space remaining in this letter will not suffice even to enumerate the ways in which he has tried to tear down all theoretical frameworks for addressing the issue.
The law is not just a moral stance. It is the consensus of society on our minimum standards of behavior. My next point of order is that The_Man insists that newspapers should report only on items he agrees with. Sorry, The_Man, but, with apologies to Gershwin, "it ain't necessarily so." I don't know whether or not you've ever been physically present at a public demonstration by his bedfellows, but let me tell you, they're pretty insane. He enjoys pondering new ways to let wretched, cynical porn stars run rampant through the streets. That's pretty transparent. What's not so transparent is the answer to the following question: How homicidal can he be? A clue might be that it has been brought to my attention that he is penny wise and pound foolish. While this is unquestionably true, you don't have to say anything specifically about him for him to start attacking you. All you have to do is dare to imply that we should promote peace, prosperity, and quality of life, both here and abroad.
The_Man's holier-than-thou attitudes are a perfect example of overgeneralization and blatant ethnocentrism, and that's one reason why I'm writing this letter. The_Man's lies come in many forms. Some of his lies are in the form of dissertations. Others are in the form of morals. Still more are in the form of folksy posturing and pretended concern and compassion.
I must part company with many of my peers when it comes to understanding why the psychotic aspect of The_Man's jeremiads will create a stir between caustic punks and the politically incorrect public at large. My peers maintain that negativism was founded on a world system of enslavement and land theft. While this is definitely true, I believe we must add that The_Man says that society is supposed to be lenient towards treasonous troublemakers. But then he turns around and says that damnable primates are inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. You know, you can't have it both ways, The_Man. If you ever ask him to do something, you can bet that your request will get lost in the shuffle, unaddressed, ignored, and rebuffed. Just look at the bill of fare served up in recent movies and television programs, and you will hardly be able to deny that ancient Greek dramatists discerned a peculiar virtue in being tragic. The_Man would do well to realize that they never discerned any virtue in being mendacious. "What's that?", I hear you ask. "Is it true that you don't need to look far to see that aside from a few exceptions, this statement is certainly valid?" Why, yes, it is.
Even if one isn't completely conversant with current events, the evidence overwhelmingly indicates that if he continues to devise brain-damaged scams to get money for nothing, I will unequivocally be obliged to do something about him. And you know me: I never neglect my obligations. The_Man's underlings aver that "those who disagree with The_Man should be cast into the outer darkness, should be shunned, should starve." First off, that's a lousy sentence. If they had written that the world would be a much better place to live if The_Man just stopped trying to suppress people's instinct and intellect, then that quote would have had more validity. As it stands, he finds reality too difficult to swallow. Or maybe it just gets lost between the sports and entertainment pages. In either case, no one likes being attacked by tyrannical malcontents. Even worse, The_Man exploits our fear of those attacks -- which he claims will evolve sooner than you think into biological, chemical, or nuclear attacks -- as a pretext to bask in the disingenuous shine of pessimism. If you think that's scary, then you should remember that The_Man plans to twist the history, sociology, and anthropology disseminated by our mass media and in our children's textbooks. He has instructed his shock troops not to discuss this or even admit to his plan's existence. Obviously, The_Man knows he has something to hide. The_Man is like a magician who produces a dove in one hand, while the other hand is busy trying to make people weak and dependent. His weltanschauung is that people are pawns to be used and manipulated. Now take that to the next level: He is incapable of handling an adult emotion or a universal concept without first reducing it to something morally repugnant, grotesque, prurient, and probably slatternly. I always catch hell whenever I say something like that, so let me assure you that at no time in the past did patronizing apostates shamble through the streets of cities, demanding rights they imagine some supernatural power has bestowed upon them.
At the risk of shocking you further, I shall point out that I can surely suggest how The_Man ought to behave. Ultimately, however, the burden of acting with moral rectitude lies with The_Man himself. For those of you who don't know, it's easy enough to hate him any day of the week on general principles. But now I'll tell you about some very specific things that he is up to, things that ought to make a real The_Man-hater out of you. First off, if everyone does his own, small part, together we can lift our nation from the quicksand of injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. The most incoherent pickpockets I've ever seen don't really want me to speak out against behavior and speech that is intended to diminish society's inducements to good behavior, although, of course, they all have to pay lip service to the idea. How dare The_Man create a Frankenstein's monster? We all need to be aware of each other's existence as intelligent, feeling, human beings, even if some of us are beer-guzzling, fatuitous dopeheads. If I try really, really hard, I can almost see why he would want to legitimate irresponsibility, laziness, and infidelity.
Let's look at the facts. First, The_Man accepts -- or, at least, feels obligated to pretend to accept -- the ideological premises of egotism. Second, facts and their accuracy make a story, not the overdramatization of whatever The_Man dreams up. And finally, The_Man may have access to weapons of mass destruction. Then again, I consider him to be a weapon of mass destruction himself.
He maintains that either we can change the truth if we don't like it the way it is or that all any child needs is a big dose of television every day. The_Man denies any other possibility. I repeat: He is entirely domineering. We all are, to some extent, but The_Man sets the curve. Considering that his legates hew closer to the party line -- to The_Man's established body of cant -- than do most other impetuous adulterers, I offer that if you've never seen The_Man vilify our history, character, values, and traditions, you're either incredibly unobservant or are concealing the truth from yourself. I guess that my take on this is that if you intend to challenge someone's assertions, you need to present a counterargument. He provides none.
I've received a smattering of mail from people who want to know the real story behind The_Man's logorrheic positions, so here it is: I frequently wish to tell The_Man that his publications reflect an era in which cultures or attitudes different from one's own were dealt with through violence and mistrust. But being a generally genteel person, however, I always bite my tongue. The little I've written so far already buttresses the assertion that his encomiasts must be exposed and neutralized wherever they lurk. And that's where we are right now.
We find among narrow and uneducated minds the belief that he is omnipotent. This belief is due to a basic confusion, which can be cleared up simply by stating that it's The_Man's belief that my letters demonstrate a desire to worsen an already unstable situation. I can't understand how anyone could go from anything I ever wrote to such a disdainful idea. In fact, my letters generally make the diametrically opposite claim, that if a cogent, logical argument entered The_Man's brain, no doubt a concussion would result. We have already fallen into The_Man's trap. The sooner he comes to grips with that reality, the better for all of us. It takes more than a mass of vapid, intransigent brigands to bring strength to our families, power to our nation, and health to our cities. It takes a great many thoughtful and semi-thoughtful people who are willing to build a sane and healthy society free of The_Man's destructive influences. The_Man is willing to promote truth and justice when it's convenient. But when it threatens his creature comforts, The_Man throws principle to the wind. Even though I seethe with anger whenever I think about his illaudable beliefs (as I would certainly not call them logically reasoned arguments), this does not negate the fact that he has gotten away with so much for so long that he's lost all sense of caution, all sense of limits. If you think about it, only a man without any sense of limits could desire to peddle the snake oil of irritating vigilantism. As a parting thought, remember that most of The_Man's recommendations are slanted in the same ideological fashion, with large amounts of emotional exaggeration and general ignorance.
29.4.05
jobbed
I got offered a job at Nordia today starting May 30th until September 2nd. I've accepted temporarily unless I get a better offer. Wierd. No interview, no questions, just an offer. Wow. I don't know what to say. It was surprisingly easy to find employment this year... There has to be a catch... definatlely. I'm still not stopping looking for other stuff... Maybe this will be the summer of much employment rather than a summer of little. And it's only April! Go figure.
screenshot
28.4.05
upgrade
Ok, for those who may be interested. I'm using MSN 7.0 and I've had it for a few days now without getting so frustrated I uninstalled it. I just patched it up from www.mess.be and made it as thin as I could... I can't understand why people like their conversations to take up their entire desktop.... doesn't make sense to me. Whatever. Nudging's been disabled.... if I couldn't disable it, Uninstalled within seconds. Darn right.
T.
T.
wow
I just found out that a friend who graduated with me at Lambton now owns her own Travel Agency. I think I'll stop by soon for a visit to see if the rumours are true.
Applied to plant trees today. Tomorrow's another day... I may actually take resume's out places... that'd be different. And the student employment centre opens on Tuesday. They get jobs posted online, which makes life easier for those who hate person to person confrontations.
... ah well. I've been playing a lot of guitar recently. I can't wait to get together with my "niece"... the old pastor's daughter from my church who at the time was the pastor's daughter, and my brother was the youth pastor at the time, so therefore I was the pastor's brother, therefore making me her "uncle"... it doesn't work in actuality, but it's still something. Anyways, we're getting together to jam sometime in the near future and just worship together. I'm excited. I didn't have much opportunity to play as a part of a group this year, so it'll be good to get the chance to again.
Speaking of which, I'm considering starting 18-30 group at my church just so I get some fellowship with people who are close to my age. It'd be fun... we'll see how that goes though. I'll have to find the people first in order to get them to come, seeing as I'll be one of maybe 3 people at the church who are under the age of 50. I'm not sure if I want to give up on the church yet... I have a feeling there's more there than I can see at the moment.
Yep.
T.
Applied to plant trees today. Tomorrow's another day... I may actually take resume's out places... that'd be different. And the student employment centre opens on Tuesday. They get jobs posted online, which makes life easier for those who hate person to person confrontations.
... ah well. I've been playing a lot of guitar recently. I can't wait to get together with my "niece"... the old pastor's daughter from my church who at the time was the pastor's daughter, and my brother was the youth pastor at the time, so therefore I was the pastor's brother, therefore making me her "uncle"... it doesn't work in actuality, but it's still something. Anyways, we're getting together to jam sometime in the near future and just worship together. I'm excited. I didn't have much opportunity to play as a part of a group this year, so it'll be good to get the chance to again.
Speaking of which, I'm considering starting 18-30 group at my church just so I get some fellowship with people who are close to my age. It'd be fun... we'll see how that goes though. I'll have to find the people first in order to get them to come, seeing as I'll be one of maybe 3 people at the church who are under the age of 50. I'm not sure if I want to give up on the church yet... I have a feeling there's more there than I can see at the moment.
Yep.
T.
25.4.05
update
applied at Nordia. Talked to RMH (NCO Group) this morning. We'll see how that goes.
It's wierd to see green grass appearing from underneath the melting snow. Odd.
T.
It's wierd to see green grass appearing from underneath the melting snow. Odd.
T.
24.4.05
home
So I'm home and moved back into my room which, contrary to my room at school (and any room possible for me to stay in at school)
- A cieling fan for blowing around the foul body odors that show up in my room throughout the night
- good lighting so I can see everything better
- nice blinds, even though they don't rotate anymore... they're always closed and some are taped into position... still has class
- carpet so I don't have to worry about my feet getting cold on the walk to the bathroom in the morning (which is 10 feet away from me instead of the 50-75 foot jaunt that I had at school)
- the ability to be able to pin things into the walls (stick tack and I have a hate-hate relationship...)
- I'm upstairs, and there are not more than 3 people in this house on a regular basis, so I don't have to worry about noise
- and last, but not least, a bed that is long enough that at no times during the night is any part of my body hanging over the edge. That's right. 7' long. I highly enjoy super single mattresses. I think the most painful part of marriage for me (whenever that shows up. I still need to find a girl before I should think that far ahead) is that the bed that we will have will most likely be a double bed, which have a tendancy of being shorter than I. I need queen. Maybe I could get a "super double" mattress in order to keep my toes warm on those cold winter nights. Hmm.... I should check into that option. I wonder if people Purolate mattresses.
Also, I took a step out of my van today when we got home into 3 inches of snow. That's right, it's snowing... in the end of April. Shouldn't it be 20 degrees out on a regular basis now? Le sigh.
Now I have to find a job. I like how I've applied via e-mail to 2 call centres nearby and they haven't called me yet... even though you'd think they'd be in contact shortly after recieving the application to follow up. Ah well. I'm considering running a phone line into my room so I can have a phone for those days when I'm expecting to hear back from potential employers. Maybe I'll get on that for tomorrow's job.
Out.
T.
- A cieling fan for blowing around the foul body odors that show up in my room throughout the night
- good lighting so I can see everything better
- nice blinds, even though they don't rotate anymore... they're always closed and some are taped into position... still has class
- carpet so I don't have to worry about my feet getting cold on the walk to the bathroom in the morning (which is 10 feet away from me instead of the 50-75 foot jaunt that I had at school)
- the ability to be able to pin things into the walls (stick tack and I have a hate-hate relationship...)
- I'm upstairs, and there are not more than 3 people in this house on a regular basis, so I don't have to worry about noise
- and last, but not least, a bed that is long enough that at no times during the night is any part of my body hanging over the edge. That's right. 7' long. I highly enjoy super single mattresses. I think the most painful part of marriage for me (whenever that shows up. I still need to find a girl before I should think that far ahead) is that the bed that we will have will most likely be a double bed, which have a tendancy of being shorter than I. I need queen. Maybe I could get a "super double" mattress in order to keep my toes warm on those cold winter nights. Hmm.... I should check into that option. I wonder if people Purolate mattresses.
Also, I took a step out of my van today when we got home into 3 inches of snow. That's right, it's snowing... in the end of April. Shouldn't it be 20 degrees out on a regular basis now? Le sigh.
Now I have to find a job. I like how I've applied via e-mail to 2 call centres nearby and they haven't called me yet... even though you'd think they'd be in contact shortly after recieving the application to follow up. Ah well. I'm considering running a phone line into my room so I can have a phone for those days when I'm expecting to hear back from potential employers. Maybe I'll get on that for tomorrow's job.
Out.
T.
19.4.05
employment update
Haven't heard back from anyone as far as I know yet, but I just applied to RMH in Narnia. It's 4 months. I can survive.
18.4.05
wake up!
Oh yes, I'm done, oh yes I'm done... wake up!
I finished everything on Saturday and now I have a week to relax and send out resumes... after I get my computer back together that is. I was having usb and network issues, so I formatted last night and am in the middle of installing everything again.
It'll be a few hours until everything's right again. But until then, I'll survive.
T
I finished everything on Saturday and now I have a week to relax and send out resumes... after I get my computer back together that is. I was having usb and network issues, so I formatted last night and am in the middle of installing everything again.
It'll be a few hours until everything's right again. But until then, I'll survive.
T
16.4.05
found the culprit
So I loaded up my computer with Knoppix (Linux) and put a usb drive, and lo and behold, it didn't restart itself! So the culprit for my woes is Windows.
Time to format anyways.
Time to format anyways.
15.4.05
examined
I finished my final exam this morning. Well it was my only exam, so therefore it would be my first and final exam. It wasn't too hard. I'll pretty much be happy as long as I pass that course. I needed 15% out of a possible 49% on my final two things (paper and exam) in order to get a 50. So it shouldn't be that hard. The paper I just did to get it done. I don't know if it was done right, but it was done.
But anyways, I'm just hanging out today, and then tomorrow is my distance ed day. Shouldn't be that hard. It seems like the final project is the easiest of them all, so I'm not worried at all. I just know that I'll get it done and in by next Friday. And that will make me a free man for the summer.
For those who are wondering, I'm going home on the 24th sometime. I started packing up books, footwear, and some clothes today. I'll do a better job at it when I get a bit closer to the date.
As of yet, here is the status of my employment search for this summer:
Imperial Oil: Rejected
Ontario Travel Information Centre: Rejected
Emmanuel Bible College - Maintenance and Grounds: Conditional on grant
Emmanuel Bible College - Administrative Assistant: (See above)
Lambton Library System - Technical Services Assistant: Resume sent Thursday the 14th
Lambton Library System (Sarnia Libary) - Internet/Computer Assistant: Resume sent Thursday the 14th
Lambton Library System - Internet/Summer Program Coordinator: Resume sent Thursday the 14th
StarTek Canada - Call Centre Agent: Resume sent Thursday the 14th
As of now, I have multiplied my applications by this time last year by 8. I think that's an accomplishment.
But anyways, I'm just hanging out today, and then tomorrow is my distance ed day. Shouldn't be that hard. It seems like the final project is the easiest of them all, so I'm not worried at all. I just know that I'll get it done and in by next Friday. And that will make me a free man for the summer.
For those who are wondering, I'm going home on the 24th sometime. I started packing up books, footwear, and some clothes today. I'll do a better job at it when I get a bit closer to the date.
As of yet, here is the status of my employment search for this summer:
Imperial Oil: Rejected
Ontario Travel Information Centre: Rejected
Emmanuel Bible College - Maintenance and Grounds: Conditional on grant
Emmanuel Bible College - Administrative Assistant: (See above)
Lambton Library System - Technical Services Assistant: Resume sent Thursday the 14th
Lambton Library System (Sarnia Libary) - Internet/Computer Assistant: Resume sent Thursday the 14th
Lambton Library System - Internet/Summer Program Coordinator: Resume sent Thursday the 14th
StarTek Canada - Call Centre Agent: Resume sent Thursday the 14th
As of now, I have multiplied my applications by this time last year by 8. I think that's an accomplishment.
14.4.05
all the reasons why
So I like listening to the song "All the Reasons Why" by Downhere from their original CD (track 11).
The chorus is cool:
"And we sing cause you are bigger
Than any reference we could make
And we dance until we're tired
Because we know your name is great"
Now, I have a confession to make. I haven't felt like singing or dancing for a few weeks now. I don't know why, but it just hasn't been there. Probably with the stress of school and trying to find a job at the same time. I think it's been too long.
I sing today.
The chorus is cool:
"And we sing cause you are bigger
Than any reference we could make
And we dance until we're tired
Because we know your name is great"
Now, I have a confession to make. I haven't felt like singing or dancing for a few weeks now. I don't know why, but it just hasn't been there. Probably with the stress of school and trying to find a job at the same time. I think it's been too long.
I sing today.
website issues
can anyone reach www.ccli.com or www.tvtorrents.tv? I'm having issues getting to both right now. It may just mean that I need to reset the router, but I'm just checking.
13.4.05
danger will robinson, danger
So I began working my way through the Lost series this past week... big mistake. Now I'm hooked, and we only have about 7 more before we've run out of downloadable ones. This poses a big problem. I'd like it if I could just go through the entire thing without having to wait for weeks on end. We're watching 3-4 episodes a day when we have 44 minutes to spare. It'll probably slow down for a few days as I have an exam coming up on Friday morning and 2 more papers to finish for distance ed, but other than that...
So, if we were in orbit right now, what would we be? Hehehehe..
Another thing, I've seen 2 Mystery Science Theatre 3000 episodes now. They're interesting. I've seen a good one (Time Chasers) and a bad one (Santa Claus Conquers the Martians) I hear that it's hit and miss for them.
So, if we were in orbit right now, what would we be? Hehehehe..
Another thing, I've seen 2 Mystery Science Theatre 3000 episodes now. They're interesting. I've seen a good one (Time Chasers) and a bad one (Santa Claus Conquers the Martians) I hear that it's hit and miss for them.
12.4.05
usb issues
So, would anyone know why my computer resets everytime I plug in a non-powered USB device? I've tried the front and back inputs and it still resets and comes back by saying it just recovered from a serious error.
I think the only way that I can solve this problem is if I get a usb hub that has it's own power source so it doesn't affect the computer in any way, shape, or form. Oh yes.. Zone alarm messed up completely through this too. So I'm not using it for the time being.
I think the only way that I can solve this problem is if I get a usb hub that has it's own power source so it doesn't affect the computer in any way, shape, or form. Oh yes.. Zone alarm messed up completely through this too. So I'm not using it for the time being.
10.4.05
billetelicious
So we went to winchester...tonfieldville... for Living Stones this weekend. It was fun. The furthest east I've been since going to Newfoundland in '92. I think my favourite part of the weekend other than van time was my room at the billet's place last night. Wasn't as hot as Ashton Kutcher billet room last year for Cornerstone, but still, I slept in a shed that used to be for the pool heater. They put a queen size bed in there and equipped it with lights and heater and the such. It was quite cool. I also got 7.5 hours of sleep at least. I enjoyed that part. Hopefully I'll get more tonight.
Anyways, my leg's hurting now. it's bedtime too.
Anyways, my leg's hurting now. it's bedtime too.
9.4.05
off to sd&g county
So I'm going to Winchester today and tomorrow with Living Stones. I've never been there before, so we'll see how it turns out. Originally, I thought we were going to Ottawa and I was very excited because I've never been there either, but instead we're going about 30-40 minutes south of Ottawa. Ah well. I think I can survive.
Over the past 2 nights, I've had a total of 10 hours of sleep. It's my fault, so allow the accusations to fly. I was playing Scattergories until 1:30 this morning... oops! Hopefully I can get some rest in the van on the way there. I'm not taking any homework type stuff with me because I need a break. I've been go for a few weeks now and it's time to chill out for a day or so before I get back into finishing up my distance ed and studying for my one exam next week.
The banquet was fun last night. I can say that Maude approved of that. Though the "new" Maude has to come down in the next week or so, "she'll" always be in our hearts, glaring at us in disapproval as we enter Warder.
If my parents read this, I'll call you Sunday night if we get back soon enough.
Out.
T.
Over the past 2 nights, I've had a total of 10 hours of sleep. It's my fault, so allow the accusations to fly. I was playing Scattergories until 1:30 this morning... oops! Hopefully I can get some rest in the van on the way there. I'm not taking any homework type stuff with me because I need a break. I've been go for a few weeks now and it's time to chill out for a day or so before I get back into finishing up my distance ed and studying for my one exam next week.
The banquet was fun last night. I can say that Maude approved of that. Though the "new" Maude has to come down in the next week or so, "she'll" always be in our hearts, glaring at us in disapproval as we enter Warder.
If my parents read this, I'll call you Sunday night if we get back soon enough.
Out.
T.
8.4.05
insomniac be i
So have you ever had those nights where you go to bed at a reasonable hour in order to not fall asleep until 3-4 hours later due to a severe case of being wide awake as soon as your head hits the pillow?
Yep. That's where I am right now... well, I finally slept for 3.5 hours and woke up to the Faith FM Pope-cast. And now I have to go through the day.
Yep. That's where I am right now... well, I finally slept for 3.5 hours and woke up to the Faith FM Pope-cast. And now I have to go through the day.
7.4.05
ze paper ez no longer a paper
ze paper ez dead.
3.5 hours yesterday.
3 hours this afternoon.
3.5 hours tonight.
I don't know if I did it right. I just know that I did it and it's now done. It's dead!
There's been a sign on my door all day: "There is a paper dying in this room. Please do not disturb this process."
Now there's red letters across it that say "Deceased: Time of Death - 10:29 PM."
Makes me feel satisfied that I'm that much closer to being finished with that course. Now onto studying for the quiz tomorrow am.
T.
3.5 hours yesterday.
3 hours this afternoon.
3.5 hours tonight.
I don't know if I did it right. I just know that I did it and it's now done. It's dead!
There's been a sign on my door all day: "There is a paper dying in this room. Please do not disturb this process."
Now there's red letters across it that say "Deceased: Time of Death - 10:29 PM."
Makes me feel satisfied that I'm that much closer to being finished with that course. Now onto studying for the quiz tomorrow am.
T.
6.4.05
exegete this
So I have to write an exegetical paper for Friday, which I've never written one before. So I'm stuck trying to figure it all out - and it's definately not making any sense to me at the moment. I'd like to say "I'll exegete your face with my fist", but I'm not sure it works right now.
Pretty much, I'm tired of school and want the stress of this that is compounded by the stress of trying to find employment for the summer to leave me. Right now. Go away. Be gone. SHOO!
Yep. That's it for now. Off to the library to try and figure this thing out.
Pretty much, I'm tired of school and want the stress of this that is compounded by the stress of trying to find employment for the summer to leave me. Right now. Go away. Be gone. SHOO!
Yep. That's it for now. Off to the library to try and figure this thing out.
4.4.05
week of heck: day one
The week of heck started off really crummy. Due to the unfortunate incident of the fire alarm panel beeping every 2 seconds from 11 PM yesterday until 10 AM today, I lost a bit of sleep. I tried moving down to room 1, but it didn't help. So I eventually turned on my computer and had some music going just to get rid of the beep. Sleep finally came around 3 AM.
This morning, I wanted to do work, but felt like junk, so I didn't get anything done.
I didn't want to be in chapel, and felt even worse when I was stuck doing powerpoint for it. Note to worship leaders - get your own powerpoint person for next year.
Lunch was ok, but I felt like junk through it all.
Theology was long, but I was sleepy.
Supper was ok, but I got depressed thinking about the summer work situation.
So that brings me to here. I think it's time to sleep for a while in hopes that I can regain some vitality before dorm meeting tonight.
But... through it all. I remember one thing that's going right for me. God's faithful. Always has been, always will be. Always is.
This morning, I wanted to do work, but felt like junk, so I didn't get anything done.
I didn't want to be in chapel, and felt even worse when I was stuck doing powerpoint for it. Note to worship leaders - get your own powerpoint person for next year.
Lunch was ok, but I felt like junk through it all.
Theology was long, but I was sleepy.
Supper was ok, but I got depressed thinking about the summer work situation.
So that brings me to here. I think it's time to sleep for a while in hopes that I can regain some vitality before dorm meeting tonight.
But... through it all. I remember one thing that's going right for me. God's faithful. Always has been, always will be. Always is.
beep.... beep
So, for those who thought it might be fun to throw frisbees inside, the ramifications are much worse than one might think. The hitting of the smoke detector, which fell from the cieling, thus causing the panel to beep loudly every 2 seconds (no, I'm not exaggerating... every 2 seconds... trust me, I timed it) until it can be fixed. This might not seem like a problem, except for the panel is 2 feet from my wall and I have trouble getting to sleep with noise, which is pretty common knowledge. I've tried kleenex ear plugs. I've tried moving down to the room at the other end of the hall... but it's not helped yet. Maybe I'll just leave my computer music on into the night in hopes that the noise of the music and fans will help me sleep easier... Arg.
Week of heck. Here we go. Off to a great start.
Week of heck. Here we go. Off to a great start.
3.4.05
snow
I walked to church this morning in the snow. The only way I knew I was on the sidewalk was due to the half-filled-in footprints that were left by adventurers who left before me. The wind was harsh, the snow was thick and heavy, and I could hardly see because my glasses were covered in water and fogged up. But I still plodded on. I had to go; I didn't quite know why, but I just knew that I was supposed to be there today.
--
You see, I was up late last night by today's standards. By yesterday's standards, I was asleep by 1ish... but add an hour and you have 2ish. I don't know why I was up so late. Perhaps it was because I slept til 10:15 yesterday morning. And the only real big thing I did yesterday was a Theology paper- the final one. But I got it done. I have a 5-7 pager and an 8 pager due this week on Thursday and Friday respectively. But that's besides the point.
--
Upon arrival I must have looked like Yukon Jack. Covered in the white stuff from head to toe. Why on earth would it snow 2-3 inches of the white stuff on April 3rd? Last week it was 17 degrees and sunny and beautiful. And it's supposed to be 15 degrees and sunny and beautiful later this week too. But it decided that it wanted to snow. The radar screen looks really funny. It's warm up in the prairies, and in Quebec, but for some reason, there's this band of cold that drops from Ottawa straight down to the eastern seaboard. But 300 KM on either side of us is warm. Go figure.
--
I said I'd never return because all I could do was criticize... the band, the worship leader, the choir, the building, the pastor, the sermons, everything. All I've ever done there this year was criticize. I haven't gotten a thing out of the church this year except for bitter disdain for mega churches. But I went today. Again. To Grandview.
--
I was late due to sleeping in until 10:40 and not leaving here until 10:55 and the snow was taunting me telling me that I should turn around and not go. But I felt I had to go. So I pressed on.
--
I didn't criticize anything. Nothing. It was wierd. I was in the massive green and beige sanctuary and I had nothing to say about what I saw. Nothing bad, anyways. I was there. At first I didn't have anything going through my head. But I still knew that I had to be there. I didn't know why, but I did.
--
The message went by, and then I realize what day it was. The first Sunday of the month, meaning that at most churches they would be serving Communion. I may not have agreed with what the pastor said about it fully, but it was still something I needed to do. I know many times I've just taken it as it's gone by because that's what I was supposed to do. But since I've been at school and not able to get to a Plymouth Brethren church on a regular basis, I've become more appreciative of the significance of the Supper. We're not just taking it because it's there and we're hungry. We're taking it as a remembrance of what Christ did for us. It was through his death that God forgave us. I thought about that. God forgave me; a wretched sinner that I am. Through his grace I am free.
--
I left there feeling better about myself than when I went in. It was a start. It's not the end, and I know that the road is going to be long; but I think I'm ready to go now. Move on and see where this takes me. It's time.
--
You see, I was up late last night by today's standards. By yesterday's standards, I was asleep by 1ish... but add an hour and you have 2ish. I don't know why I was up so late. Perhaps it was because I slept til 10:15 yesterday morning. And the only real big thing I did yesterday was a Theology paper- the final one. But I got it done. I have a 5-7 pager and an 8 pager due this week on Thursday and Friday respectively. But that's besides the point.
--
Upon arrival I must have looked like Yukon Jack. Covered in the white stuff from head to toe. Why on earth would it snow 2-3 inches of the white stuff on April 3rd? Last week it was 17 degrees and sunny and beautiful. And it's supposed to be 15 degrees and sunny and beautiful later this week too. But it decided that it wanted to snow. The radar screen looks really funny. It's warm up in the prairies, and in Quebec, but for some reason, there's this band of cold that drops from Ottawa straight down to the eastern seaboard. But 300 KM on either side of us is warm. Go figure.
--
I said I'd never return because all I could do was criticize... the band, the worship leader, the choir, the building, the pastor, the sermons, everything. All I've ever done there this year was criticize. I haven't gotten a thing out of the church this year except for bitter disdain for mega churches. But I went today. Again. To Grandview.
--
I was late due to sleeping in until 10:40 and not leaving here until 10:55 and the snow was taunting me telling me that I should turn around and not go. But I felt I had to go. So I pressed on.
--
I didn't criticize anything. Nothing. It was wierd. I was in the massive green and beige sanctuary and I had nothing to say about what I saw. Nothing bad, anyways. I was there. At first I didn't have anything going through my head. But I still knew that I had to be there. I didn't know why, but I did.
--
The message went by, and then I realize what day it was. The first Sunday of the month, meaning that at most churches they would be serving Communion. I may not have agreed with what the pastor said about it fully, but it was still something I needed to do. I know many times I've just taken it as it's gone by because that's what I was supposed to do. But since I've been at school and not able to get to a Plymouth Brethren church on a regular basis, I've become more appreciative of the significance of the Supper. We're not just taking it because it's there and we're hungry. We're taking it as a remembrance of what Christ did for us. It was through his death that God forgave us. I thought about that. God forgave me; a wretched sinner that I am. Through his grace I am free.
--
I left there feeling better about myself than when I went in. It was a start. It's not the end, and I know that the road is going to be long; but I think I'm ready to go now. Move on and see where this takes me. It's time.
forgiven
The following was spurned on by a deep conversation I had this afternoon with my good friend Katie from back home. It was good to talk to someone from outside the EBC bubble about my life and the hurdles I'm trying to cross. I think I got a lot out of the conversation, even though it was just text on the screen, but it's left me with a LOT of stuff to think about and work through. Hopefully I do work through it rather than leave it for another few years. It's time to grow.
----
I'm forgiven. So why can't I forgive myself? I don't even think in 4 years that I've taken one step towards trying to forgive myself, so I've just sat in the same pool of self-pity since then. I've been coming to realize more and more that I can't move on until I forgive myself, and it's been time to move on for 3 years now, but I'm not even close to being at that point.
That's it. It's over. This whole spiral begins to end right here.
I forgive myself. I won't forget, but I'll stop dwelling and take it as a learning and growing experience. It's time to move on. God forgave me long before I messed up. I was forgiven even before I was born. Why do humans have to dwell on things?
I forgive myself. i forGive myself. i FORgive MYself. Those words are empowering. Here marks the beginning of the end of the past 4 years.
I think the editor of the Tyndale newspaper puts it well in his article for this month's issue.
I'm forgiven. I forgive myself. I forgive others who have hurt me. You gotta start somewhere... and here is where I start. Here I stand; saved by grace.
----
I'm forgiven. So why can't I forgive myself? I don't even think in 4 years that I've taken one step towards trying to forgive myself, so I've just sat in the same pool of self-pity since then. I've been coming to realize more and more that I can't move on until I forgive myself, and it's been time to move on for 3 years now, but I'm not even close to being at that point.
That's it. It's over. This whole spiral begins to end right here.
I forgive myself. I won't forget, but I'll stop dwelling and take it as a learning and growing experience. It's time to move on. God forgave me long before I messed up. I was forgiven even before I was born. Why do humans have to dwell on things?
I forgive myself. i forGive myself. i FORgive MYself. Those words are empowering. Here marks the beginning of the end of the past 4 years.
I think the editor of the Tyndale newspaper puts it well in his article for this month's issue.
I'm forgiven. I forgive myself. I forgive others who have hurt me. You gotta start somewhere... and here is where I start. Here I stand; saved by grace.
2.4.05
a quote
I watched Joan of Arcadia this week - it's a good one if you didn't see it.
There's an interesting quote at the end of the episode after Joan's gone through a rollercoaster of emotions in regards to innocence, pain, and guilt.
This comes from the character that portrays God
"You know what innocence is? It's more than an absence of guilt. It's having faith that there's goodness in the face of cruelty and pain. Someplace you still feel that way. --- And that's me. --- And I'll always be there."
A very unique quote from what some would call the most spiritual show on television right now.
Discuss if you want. Or just take it to ponder.
There's an interesting quote at the end of the episode after Joan's gone through a rollercoaster of emotions in regards to innocence, pain, and guilt.
This comes from the character that portrays God
"You know what innocence is? It's more than an absence of guilt. It's having faith that there's goodness in the face of cruelty and pain. Someplace you still feel that way. --- And that's me. --- And I'll always be there."
A very unique quote from what some would call the most spiritual show on television right now.
Discuss if you want. Or just take it to ponder.
1.4.05
chapped...ers...
So tonight, to get off campus, even though I was supposedly on duty, I went with Ryan over to the Hojo en route to Chapters to do some homework in a different setting than this cave I call my room. We went to this lady's room so Ryan could check her laptop for something, which was the problem with the hotel not the laptop. But anyways, it ended up in us getting a ride with the lady to Chapters. She was in town for a homeschooler's trade show for some sort of curriculum. We discussed homeschooling for a bit, but not much because it's a short drive.
Chapters was ok. I did some theology and some distance ed. I'm working on the 2nd part of unit 4 right now. It's coming easier than the previous units cause they sucked. Yep.
The bus ride home proved my dislike of cell phones and I wish that people would use them only for emergencies, rather than to talk about drinking and drugs and guns and sex and whatever else kids these days talk about.
Now I'm back to do something. Maybe I'll go visit Warder for a while.
T.
Chapters was ok. I did some theology and some distance ed. I'm working on the 2nd part of unit 4 right now. It's coming easier than the previous units cause they sucked. Yep.
The bus ride home proved my dislike of cell phones and I wish that people would use them only for emergencies, rather than to talk about drinking and drugs and guns and sex and whatever else kids these days talk about.
Now I'm back to do something. Maybe I'll go visit Warder for a while.
T.
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