Why is this coming about? Well, I decided to take the next steps with a lovely girl named Robin and asked her to marry me.
Here's how it went down:
Some Background:
We've been dating for almost 3 years, and through the last year, many things have changed, including both of our jobs, and my living location. What hasn't changed is the continual discussion about what was happening next. Robin would tell you that I was dragging my feet, whereas I'll tell you that I like to have all details sorted out before I make a big decision of any sort, especially the largest decision of my life to date.
She's been joking (I think?) for the past few months about the concept of marriage. I was still hesitant so I glared at her every time this came up. She enjoyed getting a reaction. I slowly but surely came to the conclusion that this was the right thing to do. All of my concerns had been dealt with and the only thing that was holding me back was a fear of the unknown. After a good conversation with Gord, and multiple hours of prayer, I decided to not be afraid of taking the next step.
The Soup Incident:
I went to Kitchener for the weekend and on Saturday, after dropping Robin off at work, I went to pick up Gord and we went out for an adventure. After browsing through 6 jewellery stores, I settled on a ring that I found at the 4th location. As soon as I saw it, I knew it was the one. So we went back to that shop and made the purchase. This is where the nerves started kicking in. But they disappeared again for a while.
Robin had asked me to make soup for a lunch at church the next day. I didn't make it and when she came home, she was right upset with me. I think this is one of the few times that she has ever been really mad at me. I took one for the team because I couldn't tell her where I'd been that day. I just apologized and knew it would be a temporary pain for a long term gain.
The Asking:
I woke up really unsure if I was going to go through with it on the Sunday. But about halfway through the afternoon, I decided it was going to happen that day. I played up the idea that we were never going to get married and that she would have to ditch me and find someone else who was willing to commit. It was a joke based on her fears we had going on.
That evening, during dinner, I excused myself to get the ring under the guise of using the facilities. I got the box out of the closet by pretending I needed a new hand towel and then went into the washroom. After looking in the mirror, breathing deeply a few times, saying a quick prayer, and telling myself I can do this, I went back out and we got to work doing the dishes. I offered to dry so as to keep my right pocket as far away from her as I could.
After putting away the dishes, we were going to go for a walk, but she had to step out of the room for a moment. Once the door closed behind her, I got to work. I took the Scrabble letters I have magnetized on my fridge and changed a message she had put up earlier (Lets get elopded [sic]) and turned it into Lets get engaged.
When she came back out, she asked me if I was ready to go, I said yep, but there's a message on the fridge for you. She went over to look, and when she turned around, I was on one knee with the ring in hand and asked "Robin, will you marry me?" She looked at me in shock and replied "Are you serious?" I said yes, and she finally said "Yes, of course I'll marry you!"
The Aftermath:
The two days since have been full of lots of phone calls and e-mails and texts and Facebook messages to get the word out. And now it's down to figuring everything else out. Details will come as they're made available.
As mentioned before, an underlying sense of fear has been played a part in our story. Am I still afraid? I liken the past 2 days to going back and forth from excitement about the possibility of spending the rest of my life with this girl to the terror of not knowing what is in store and the stress of having to figure out everything about a wedding and our future in the very near future , but through it all, I somehow know that I'll be ok. Robin's had the ability to calm my fears and motivate me to try new things and face my fears head on. She's supported me through the times when things are going well to the times where I felt my stability was falling apart. She's a trooper and I love her for it. She's helped me realize that emotions aren't necessarily over-rated, and it's OK to express yourself and talk through issues, even the tough ones.
Over the past few years, the words of God to the Israelites through Joshua have been on my mind and have calmed me down when I've started to become concerned: "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Js 1:9.
And that's the story of how I got engaged.
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