So after spending the majority of today hiccup free, they returned this evening, seemingly with the desire to make up for lost time. I was able to sneak in about 2 hours sleep before they woke me up and it's going on 3-4 hours since that happened. There's a number of cures available online, all of which seem as strange as the one before.
Here's the list of what's worked so far for me, but each time only once.
Holding my breath
Eating a banana
drinking a glass of water from the front of the glass
Eating a donut
Having a shot of peach schnopps
The most common cure is waiting it out, but that's hard / annoying when I'd much rather be sleeping to ensure I'm not exhausted during the day.
Telehealth recommended getting to a doctor within 24 hours. I'm starting to think that may be a good idea.
26.10.14
24.10.14
hiccup
Everyone gets the hiccups sometime. Usually they're only around for brief stints, annoying, but passing. And everyone has their select cure. Eat peanut butter. Eat sugar. Drink water upside down. Breathe into a paper bag. Sing the national anthem and run around in circles on your hands. Sure, it may have worked for them once, but it likely won't work the same way for others.
After the second round of hiccups appeared, I went to the good folks at Google for some research. Hiccups are caused by a spasm in your diaphragm which causes you to inhale quickly leading to your vocal cords snapping which causes the "hic" sound. Causes can be eating too quickly, slowly, drinking too hot or cold, any number of mental conditions (anxiety, etc.), or it could be worse.
Being the pessimist I am, I've come to the conclusion that I'm with my hiccups for the rest of my life. I told R that she's now married to me and my hiccups. We're on round 10 in less than 48 hours, with each round lasting 1-3 hours in length.
I'm ready to move on and leave them behind... if only they weren't so insistent on being my friend.
After the second round of hiccups appeared, I went to the good folks at Google for some research. Hiccups are caused by a spasm in your diaphragm which causes you to inhale quickly leading to your vocal cords snapping which causes the "hic" sound. Causes can be eating too quickly, slowly, drinking too hot or cold, any number of mental conditions (anxiety, etc.), or it could be worse.
Being the pessimist I am, I've come to the conclusion that I'm with my hiccups for the rest of my life. I told R that she's now married to me and my hiccups. We're on round 10 in less than 48 hours, with each round lasting 1-3 hours in length.
I'm ready to move on and leave them behind... if only they weren't so insistent on being my friend.
30.9.14
day 31: end of the month
Today marks the end of my personal challenge to move a bit more during September. In total, I walked over 130km in the past month, not including the usual day to day movement around home and work. It's been a fun process to see how much I could get out and enjoy the nice weather that we've had and try to do a few greater distances than I usually go, including the few trips to work and various other meanderings.
I feel more fit than I did at the end of August, and I've lost a few pounds to boot, although it has been said that your body weight can fluctuate up to 5 lbs throughout the day, so I don't give much credence to the idea that I've lost a substantial amount of weight. At the very least, I'm hoping this puts me on the track to get a few more pounds off and return to something I feel a bit more comfortable with, in my head at least.
My next challenge is to fill the other side of the mantra I mentioned a few weeks back: Eat less. I have a terrible habit of picking up a snack whenever I'm near someplace that has snacks. Usually I can get around this by not carrying cash when I'm out and about, but that's not always the case. It comes down to self-discipline, which I've been better at than I am now. So starting today, I'm hoping to be willing to say No more often when it comes to passing by the places I usually get a snack and to scale back on the amount of food I intake when eating regular meals. As they say in any process of trying to do something that may be a bit harder, you take it one day at a time.
Wednesday (cont'd): 4 km home
Thursday: 1.75km at lunch
Friday: 1.75km at lunch
Saturday: 6 km around the Pinery
Sunday: 8 km around the Pinery
Monday: 4 km around the Pinery
Tuesday: 1.25 km at lunch.
Adding to the 100+ from before: 125-130km+ over 31 days, averaging about 3+km per day.
It's easier to do this in the warmer weather. The challenge will be to keep it up as the mercury drops.
And here we go into tomorrow.
I feel more fit than I did at the end of August, and I've lost a few pounds to boot, although it has been said that your body weight can fluctuate up to 5 lbs throughout the day, so I don't give much credence to the idea that I've lost a substantial amount of weight. At the very least, I'm hoping this puts me on the track to get a few more pounds off and return to something I feel a bit more comfortable with, in my head at least.
My next challenge is to fill the other side of the mantra I mentioned a few weeks back: Eat less. I have a terrible habit of picking up a snack whenever I'm near someplace that has snacks. Usually I can get around this by not carrying cash when I'm out and about, but that's not always the case. It comes down to self-discipline, which I've been better at than I am now. So starting today, I'm hoping to be willing to say No more often when it comes to passing by the places I usually get a snack and to scale back on the amount of food I intake when eating regular meals. As they say in any process of trying to do something that may be a bit harder, you take it one day at a time.
Wednesday (cont'd): 4 km home
Thursday: 1.75km at lunch
Friday: 1.75km at lunch
Saturday: 6 km around the Pinery
Sunday: 8 km around the Pinery
Monday: 4 km around the Pinery
Tuesday: 1.25 km at lunch.
Adding to the 100+ from before: 125-130km+ over 31 days, averaging about 3+km per day.
It's easier to do this in the warmer weather. The challenge will be to keep it up as the mercury drops.
And here we go into tomorrow.
24.9.14
day 25: routine
I'm starting to notice that I feel bad when I don't get out for a walk. These include the times when it's raining, or times when meetings have me having to skip lunch or any number of other reasons that come up.
I'm taking two courses this term and have quite a bit of reading to do. Last year, I did my reading at lunch while at work, but this year, I feel the need to get out into the fresh air instead of sitting in a stuffy lunch room reading away when I could get at least 20 minutes of walking in prior to getting into the groove for the afternoon.
So you could say it's becoming routine. I've even walked to work two more times this week, and people aren't really looking at me like I'm crazy anymore.
I know that I'll need to prioritize school over the walks in the near future, but for today, I walk.
Friday night: 4 km home; 1 km around neighbourhood after dinner
Saturday: 3 km around neighbourhood
Sunday: 20 minutes in the apartment gym. It feels awkward walking on a treadmill when you can see that you're not really going anywhere and there's a mirror in front of you to make you consider how you look while doing so.
Monday: 4 km to work, 1.75km at lunch, 4 km home
Tuesday: 1.75km at lunch, 4 km to class
Wednesday: 4 km to work, 1.75km at lunch
To date: 100+km in 25 days.
I'm taking two courses this term and have quite a bit of reading to do. Last year, I did my reading at lunch while at work, but this year, I feel the need to get out into the fresh air instead of sitting in a stuffy lunch room reading away when I could get at least 20 minutes of walking in prior to getting into the groove for the afternoon.
So you could say it's becoming routine. I've even walked to work two more times this week, and people aren't really looking at me like I'm crazy anymore.
I know that I'll need to prioritize school over the walks in the near future, but for today, I walk.
Friday night: 4 km home; 1 km around neighbourhood after dinner
Saturday: 3 km around neighbourhood
Sunday: 20 minutes in the apartment gym. It feels awkward walking on a treadmill when you can see that you're not really going anywhere and there's a mirror in front of you to make you consider how you look while doing so.
Monday: 4 km to work, 1.75km at lunch, 4 km home
Tuesday: 1.75km at lunch, 4 km to class
Wednesday: 4 km to work, 1.75km at lunch
To date: 100+km in 25 days.
19.9.14
tangent: going for a long walk
Through my time in Bible college, I learned about pilgrimage and how it is an ancient form of spirituality that is making a comeback in today's day. People of Christian and Jewish beliefs will make the trip to Jerusalem and the Holy Land. People of Islamic faith will go to Mecca. A certain friend, who will remain nameless, once made a road trip to Denver to see Dave Matthews. In many cases, although the end goal is what originally drew you to step out onto the road, the journey is what they will remember most, and in many cases, will be the catalyst for transformation.
I had the opportunity to go to France 4 years ago to Taize, a site that thousands of primarily youth will make the pilgrimage to each year. My time there was not long enough, but cause enough to reflect on the value of prayer and silence in life.
I then learned about the Camino. The Camino de Santiago, otherwise known as the Way of St James. This is a trek across the north of Spain from the small town of St. Jean Peid-du-Port in south-western France to the city of Santiago in north-western Spain. The distance is approximately 800 km, taking most experienced walkers 30-45 days to complete. After learning a bit more about it, I decided that I must go. So I tried my connection of ways to get overseas and justify it so (a) I don't have to pay for it myself and (b) I don't have to take vacation time from work. I contacted my co-leader from the France trip and she was sold. And then unfortunately life changed for me and I was no longer in an employment situation that would help me reach both of the above stated goals. She, however, was, and was able to lead a group of students to complete the last 120 km of the Camino in 2012. And 2013. And 2014 with plans for 2015 as well.
My desire to go on the Camino comes out of a few places. I love to travel. I love walking. I love trying new things (although it may not look that way.) And I love finding new ways to connect with God. There's a book I've read entitled The Way is Made by Walking, written by a former colleague at Tyndale, which speaks about the act of pilgrimage and how walking can bring you closer to God and more in tune with the natural rhythms of you body, along with the added side effect of being good for your health and the environment at the same time. Reading this made me no less desire to go to Spain and take a "walk to church", as the author of the book wrote.
In recent years, the Camino has become popular again among both people of faith and those who are not alike. It has been showcased in popular culture through the movie The Way, starring Martin Sheen, and more recently in a documentary called Walking the Camino: Six Ways to Santiago.
All of this to say, I hope to get there, as does R. Flights cost a lot of money. Once there, it's much more reasonable.
I'll leave you with a video I saw this week that made me start thinking about it again. Enjoy. And until next time, Buen Camino.
http://vimeo.com/65678090
I had the opportunity to go to France 4 years ago to Taize, a site that thousands of primarily youth will make the pilgrimage to each year. My time there was not long enough, but cause enough to reflect on the value of prayer and silence in life.
I then learned about the Camino. The Camino de Santiago, otherwise known as the Way of St James. This is a trek across the north of Spain from the small town of St. Jean Peid-du-Port in south-western France to the city of Santiago in north-western Spain. The distance is approximately 800 km, taking most experienced walkers 30-45 days to complete. After learning a bit more about it, I decided that I must go. So I tried my connection of ways to get overseas and justify it so (a) I don't have to pay for it myself and (b) I don't have to take vacation time from work. I contacted my co-leader from the France trip and she was sold. And then unfortunately life changed for me and I was no longer in an employment situation that would help me reach both of the above stated goals. She, however, was, and was able to lead a group of students to complete the last 120 km of the Camino in 2012. And 2013. And 2014 with plans for 2015 as well.
My desire to go on the Camino comes out of a few places. I love to travel. I love walking. I love trying new things (although it may not look that way.) And I love finding new ways to connect with God. There's a book I've read entitled The Way is Made by Walking, written by a former colleague at Tyndale, which speaks about the act of pilgrimage and how walking can bring you closer to God and more in tune with the natural rhythms of you body, along with the added side effect of being good for your health and the environment at the same time. Reading this made me no less desire to go to Spain and take a "walk to church", as the author of the book wrote.
In recent years, the Camino has become popular again among both people of faith and those who are not alike. It has been showcased in popular culture through the movie The Way, starring Martin Sheen, and more recently in a documentary called Walking the Camino: Six Ways to Santiago.
All of this to say, I hope to get there, as does R. Flights cost a lot of money. Once there, it's much more reasonable.
I'll leave you with a video I saw this week that made me start thinking about it again. Enjoy. And until next time, Buen Camino.
http://vimeo.com/65678090
day 20: walking to the weekend
I woke up this morning with ambition. Sometimes I wake up with a lot of ambition and am through my morning routine in about 30 minutes. Other times it takes 75 from the time the alarm goes off until I'm even close to being ready to being out the door. I used to take a long time to go from alarm going off to getting out of bed, but that seems to have waned since I now need to turn the alarm off immediately or face the wrath of an angry tired wife. Having the alarm on the other side of the room is useful for me, but maybe not so much for her.
Regardless of that tangent, I had ambition this morning. I had decided last night that the weather was looking favourable for me trying to do a commute by foot. I used to do this on occasion when my commute was 1.2 km, so it's not necessarily a new thing, but it is the first time I felt motivated enough to walk the 4 km to work from home at this job. So I got up with R's alarm first, as tends to happen when she has to work earlier than I, she then proceeded to tell me in my groggy state that it was her alarm not mine, so I crashed on the bed for a few more minutes until my alarm went off, pulled myself out of bed, grabbed my clothes, had a shower, ate my breakfast, and even had enough time to ensure that Scotland was still part of the union before departing at 7:45, approximately 30 minutes sooner than I would if I were driving.
The walk was gorgeous. The leaves are starting to change colour and I've begun to accept that they are allowed to do this now. A month ago, when I saw the first signs of colour in the foliage, my reaction wasn't so pleasant. To get to work, I take a semi-direct route. The shortest route is along a very busy thoroughfare, which wouldn't be very nice with the sounds and smells that come with it. So I cut directly through the nearby neighbourhood, through Waterloo Park, and then into the University campus from the south gateway. There seemed to be quite a few students walking to the school through the park this morning, but I'm assuming they were coming from closer than I was.
I made it on time, although somewhat sweaty and devoid of clean shirt and/or deodorant, but that's a lesson learned for the next time.
Likely going to be walking home tonight as well. Should be as exciting as the morning if not even more because it will be the weekend.
Day 18: Wednesday Sept 18: 3.16km at lunch and 2.16 km with R in the evening
Day 19: Thursday Sept 19: 2.72km at lunch
Day 20: Friday Sept 20 (as of 1:45 pm): 4.02 km to work in the morning, 1.82km at lunch and more to come. Woo?
Regardless of that tangent, I had ambition this morning. I had decided last night that the weather was looking favourable for me trying to do a commute by foot. I used to do this on occasion when my commute was 1.2 km, so it's not necessarily a new thing, but it is the first time I felt motivated enough to walk the 4 km to work from home at this job. So I got up with R's alarm first, as tends to happen when she has to work earlier than I, she then proceeded to tell me in my groggy state that it was her alarm not mine, so I crashed on the bed for a few more minutes until my alarm went off, pulled myself out of bed, grabbed my clothes, had a shower, ate my breakfast, and even had enough time to ensure that Scotland was still part of the union before departing at 7:45, approximately 30 minutes sooner than I would if I were driving.
The walk was gorgeous. The leaves are starting to change colour and I've begun to accept that they are allowed to do this now. A month ago, when I saw the first signs of colour in the foliage, my reaction wasn't so pleasant. To get to work, I take a semi-direct route. The shortest route is along a very busy thoroughfare, which wouldn't be very nice with the sounds and smells that come with it. So I cut directly through the nearby neighbourhood, through Waterloo Park, and then into the University campus from the south gateway. There seemed to be quite a few students walking to the school through the park this morning, but I'm assuming they were coming from closer than I was.
I made it on time, although somewhat sweaty and devoid of clean shirt and/or deodorant, but that's a lesson learned for the next time.
Likely going to be walking home tonight as well. Should be as exciting as the morning if not even more because it will be the weekend.
Day 18: Wednesday Sept 18: 3.16km at lunch and 2.16 km with R in the evening
Day 19: Thursday Sept 19: 2.72km at lunch
Day 20: Friday Sept 20 (as of 1:45 pm): 4.02 km to work in the morning, 1.82km at lunch and more to come. Woo?
16.9.14
day 16... still walking... sorta
On Sunday, aka Day 15, I went back to a number of walks to get my distance up.
4 km to church round trip
1.5 km in Hamilton with some friends
2 km with R in the evening
Monday was minimal in the sense that I was only able to walk during a brief lunch period.
1.5 km.
Tuesday, I wasn't able to make it out at lunch, so I made up for it by walking to class.
4 km.
4 km to church round trip
1.5 km in Hamilton with some friends
2 km with R in the evening
Monday was minimal in the sense that I was only able to walk during a brief lunch period.
1.5 km.
Tuesday, I wasn't able to make it out at lunch, so I made up for it by walking to class.
4 km.
12.9.14
day ... i forget
Ok, so a weekend break turned into a week. Not sure how that happened. But a week of not blogging does not turn into a week of not walking, that's for sure.'
As of my weekly weigh-in, I was down about 2-3 pounds. This may just be a fluctuation like the daily fluctuation as the body takes care of itself. We'll see if it's trending downward on Sunday.
I'm using an app on my phone called MapMyRun to keep track of the distances I walk. It's based on GPS and tends to be fairly accurate, unless you're in a place where the GPS signal can't reach. I usually turn it on within a minute of starting and keep it on until I get home. It gives splits and shows maps of where I've been. I'm finding it fairly useful so far.
Sept 5-7 (While camping): Walk approx 10 km over 3 days, bike 7 km
Sept 8: 2.37 km at lunch
Sept 9: 1.78 km to the bookstore to find the line too large and then back. Some of the walk may have been lost as I went through the tunnels on campus on my return journey.
Sept 10: 2.6 km including a successful trip to the bookstore. It rained in the evening. A lot, so the chances to go for a leisurely walk were limited.
Sept 11: 3 km. 1 km at lunch and 2 km in the evening.
Total to date: 46.5 km.
As of my weekly weigh-in, I was down about 2-3 pounds. This may just be a fluctuation like the daily fluctuation as the body takes care of itself. We'll see if it's trending downward on Sunday.
I'm using an app on my phone called MapMyRun to keep track of the distances I walk. It's based on GPS and tends to be fairly accurate, unless you're in a place where the GPS signal can't reach. I usually turn it on within a minute of starting and keep it on until I get home. It gives splits and shows maps of where I've been. I'm finding it fairly useful so far.
Sept 5-7 (While camping): Walk approx 10 km over 3 days, bike 7 km
Sept 8: 2.37 km at lunch
Sept 9: 1.78 km to the bookstore to find the line too large and then back. Some of the walk may have been lost as I went through the tunnels on campus on my return journey.
Sept 10: 2.6 km including a successful trip to the bookstore. It rained in the evening. A lot, so the chances to go for a leisurely walk were limited.
Sept 11: 3 km. 1 km at lunch and 2 km in the evening.
Total to date: 46.5 km.
5.9.14
day 5: relapse
I went for a walk at lunch. The route I take has become busier over the past week as students have returned and the amount of pedestrians wandering around trying to figure out where they are and what the acronyms of the buildings are. I told someone to go past the construction and the shiny building to get to the SLC yesterday. It was the most clear way of telling them to get there from where we were.
I entitled this relapse because despite walking 2 km and being "good" as I call it over the past few days with no stopping in for a snack, I stopped at one of the Tim Horton's that has recently re-opened for the term and got a donut and an iced capp. Sigh. One step forward, many calories back.
R and I are going camping for the weekend. No updates until Sunday or Monday, but I'll try and track how much I walk.
I entitled this relapse because despite walking 2 km and being "good" as I call it over the past few days with no stopping in for a snack, I stopped at one of the Tim Horton's that has recently re-opened for the term and got a donut and an iced capp. Sigh. One step forward, many calories back.
R and I are going camping for the weekend. No updates until Sunday or Monday, but I'll try and track how much I walk.
3.9.14
day 4: cat crossing
There were a lot of cats on the road this evening.
That's all.
Lunch: 1.75km
Evening: 3.5km
That's all.
That's all.
Lunch: 1.75km
Evening: 3.5km
That's all.
2.9.14
day 3: rain delay
I get an hour for lunch. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do in that hour seeing as I bring my lunch and take the break at a time after everyone else has eaten. So I quickly scarf down whatever food I've brought with me for the day and then leave for a walk. This walk takes me through the University to some extent. Sometimes it's through the middle of campus, sometimes it's around the ring, but usually I get at least 1.5 km of walking in before crossing the creek back to work to finish out the day.
Today that was my intention, however at 12:30pm, the skies opened and the rains started to fall with force. It stayed like this until after my lunch hour was over, so unfortunately I missed my walk today.
Not the end of the world, but still somewhat annoying.
R and I went out for our walk this evening and only covered about 2.25 km before returning to home, cookies, and the Amazing Race Canada.
Still I keep moving, albeit less so than the past few days.
Day 3: 2.25 km
Today that was my intention, however at 12:30pm, the skies opened and the rains started to fall with force. It stayed like this until after my lunch hour was over, so unfortunately I missed my walk today.
Not the end of the world, but still somewhat annoying.
R and I went out for our walk this evening and only covered about 2.25 km before returning to home, cookies, and the Amazing Race Canada.
Still I keep moving, albeit less so than the past few days.
Day 3: 2.25 km
1.9.14
day 2: start with a confession
So I have to admit something. Yesterday, while R was at work, I watched "Julie and Julia." For those who many not have seen this movie or heard about it, it is about a girl who decided to cook her way through Julia Childs' cookbook (500+ recipes) over the course of one year and write a blog about it. The movie follows the stories of Julie, as she takes on this challenge, and Julia, as she was going through the process of learning to cook and writing the cookbook. It also stars Amy Adams and Stanley Tucci, two people who know what they're doing when it comes to on-screen work. But anyway, the idea of trying something and keeping a chronicle of it in a public forum is what inspired me.
So my idea is not exactly original, as they say. There are also a large number of blogs out there that people have written to chronicle their struggles with overcoming a plethora of adversities or embarking in the challenge of trying something new. I don't attempt to use this as a way to come even close to the difficulty and sheer determination that it takes improve your life in some dramatic way. This is just me, bringing some level of feined accountability into my attempt at eating a bit better and moving a bit more.
I once read an account of someone who was able to lose a lot of weight over the span of a period of time. They didn't have some silver bullet of how they did it. When asked, they just said "I eat less and I move more, and the rest tends to follow."
I've had this mantra up on my white board for over a year now: Eat less | Move more, but it's not often I follow it. I tend to eat a lot and fast and although I'm not lazy, I don't move enough to make a difference.
So here's where I stand:
Day 1(Aug 31): 12.15 km
Day 2 (Sep 1): 5.5 km
So my idea is not exactly original, as they say. There are also a large number of blogs out there that people have written to chronicle their struggles with overcoming a plethora of adversities or embarking in the challenge of trying something new. I don't attempt to use this as a way to come even close to the difficulty and sheer determination that it takes improve your life in some dramatic way. This is just me, bringing some level of feined accountability into my attempt at eating a bit better and moving a bit more.
I once read an account of someone who was able to lose a lot of weight over the span of a period of time. They didn't have some silver bullet of how they did it. When asked, they just said "I eat less and I move more, and the rest tends to follow."
I've had this mantra up on my white board for over a year now: Eat less | Move more, but it's not often I follow it. I tend to eat a lot and fast and although I'm not lazy, I don't move enough to make a difference.
So here's where I stand:
Day 1(Aug 31): 12.15 km
Day 2 (Sep 1): 5.5 km
31.8.14
five hundred miles
At the beginning of 2013, I was living in Toronto. At the same time, none of my friends were living in Toronto.* Therefore, I had no social life outside of work for the days I was in Toronto, meaning I spent a lot of time on the 401 coming back to Kitchener to see my at-the-time girlfriend, now wife, friends, and family who happened to live in the area. Suffice this to say that during the weekday evenings, I was bored.
So I came up with a plan. I was going to walk an average of 3 km per day over the course of the year to total 1000 km of walking. The neighbourhood I lived in had some walkable areas, so I could do a 3 km loop without worrying about getting mugged and have my day's worth of stretch all in one.
This went on, fairly consistently until the spring when I twisted my knee and the life turned upside down as I found a job in Waterloo and moved back to Kitchener.
This is where I stopped tracking how much I had actually walked. My guess is around 400 km over the course of the first 5 months, but I likely fell short of my goal of tracking the total 1000 km.
The neighbourhood I moved to in Kitchener is also a very walkable neighbourhood. R and I typically go out for a walk at least 3-4 times a week and end up doing 2-3 km each time. Add this onto the 1-2 km of walking I do at work while on lunch most days, I'm getting some fairly good exercise in. You'd think I'd be in good shape. But that is not the case. You see, the problem is that I like to eat. And when I eat, I eat fast and I eat lots. This isn't helped by the fact that I enjoy donuts, chips, and ice cream and have limited will power when I pass by one of the 3-5 Tim Horton's locations I pass by on my lunch-time walk. So my any good my walk is doing health wise is being negated by the tasty, tasty donut that I tend to purchase on route.
And for all of this, there has been movement on the scale in an upwards direction. Not surprising, but not wanted either.
And so, as a challenge to myself, I'm going to try and spend the next 30 days eating less and moving more. Today is almost at a close, but I have walked about 9 km today, but I've also eaten lots of snacks... so the moving more can start today but the eating less will have to wait until morning.
And to convince myself that writing is good for me, I've decided to catalogue here. It's been 3 months without any action, although there have been a few false starts along the way.
Hopes for the month:
I've been feeling lazy and un-motivated as of late. Perhaps this will push me into taking care of my body and getting some motivation to be more proactive in what I do. Likely a good thing as school starts soon and I'm still registered for 2 courses in an attempt to finish off my 2nd degree in less than 6 years.
Breakdown of walking today:
1.9 km to Church with R
1.9 km home from Church with R
5km walk around the neighbourhood by myself with my headphones in and tunes playing
So I came up with a plan. I was going to walk an average of 3 km per day over the course of the year to total 1000 km of walking. The neighbourhood I lived in had some walkable areas, so I could do a 3 km loop without worrying about getting mugged and have my day's worth of stretch all in one.
This went on, fairly consistently until the spring when I twisted my knee and the life turned upside down as I found a job in Waterloo and moved back to Kitchener.
This is where I stopped tracking how much I had actually walked. My guess is around 400 km over the course of the first 5 months, but I likely fell short of my goal of tracking the total 1000 km.
The neighbourhood I moved to in Kitchener is also a very walkable neighbourhood. R and I typically go out for a walk at least 3-4 times a week and end up doing 2-3 km each time. Add this onto the 1-2 km of walking I do at work while on lunch most days, I'm getting some fairly good exercise in. You'd think I'd be in good shape. But that is not the case. You see, the problem is that I like to eat. And when I eat, I eat fast and I eat lots. This isn't helped by the fact that I enjoy donuts, chips, and ice cream and have limited will power when I pass by one of the 3-5 Tim Horton's locations I pass by on my lunch-time walk. So my any good my walk is doing health wise is being negated by the tasty, tasty donut that I tend to purchase on route.
And for all of this, there has been movement on the scale in an upwards direction. Not surprising, but not wanted either.
And so, as a challenge to myself, I'm going to try and spend the next 30 days eating less and moving more. Today is almost at a close, but I have walked about 9 km today, but I've also eaten lots of snacks... so the moving more can start today but the eating less will have to wait until morning.
And to convince myself that writing is good for me, I've decided to catalogue here. It's been 3 months without any action, although there have been a few false starts along the way.
Hopes for the month:
I've been feeling lazy and un-motivated as of late. Perhaps this will push me into taking care of my body and getting some motivation to be more proactive in what I do. Likely a good thing as school starts soon and I'm still registered for 2 courses in an attempt to finish off my 2nd degree in less than 6 years.
Breakdown of walking today:
1.9 km to Church with R
1.9 km home from Church with R
5km walk around the neighbourhood by myself with my headphones in and tunes playing
23.5.14
whether the weather
I've always been one to be fascinated with the weather. I prayed for snow days in high school (once we got two in the following days). I remember the remnants of Opal passing through in Jr. High. I remember making an embarrassing comment regarding the reasoning behind why I was wearing shorts in elementary school.
Weather can make you excited: "It's a beautiful day for a walk today."
Weather can make you sad: "Why does it have to rain on my day off?"
Weather can make you angry: "I just planted that tree, but the ice storm / polar vortex / sharknado ruined it."
But what I'm experiencing now is a slight anxiety about the weather. What is it going to be on the day of the wedding?
We picked May because it's not November through April where the weather is predominantly cold and ugly, especially since we were inviting out of town guests. We picked the end of May because it was more likely to be warm (along with various other conflicting events from those in our wedding party).
A few months ago, I pulled up a history of the weather from the day we're getting married and found out that historically speaking, there is a 50% chance of rain that day.
But, being the practical person I am, decided there's not much you can do about the weather, and it's always good to have a plan B, just in case it interferes with any of your visions as to what the day is going to be like.
Photo locations were scouted for indoors. Stores were scoured for umbrellas in case we couldn't find anywhere indoors. An attitude of "So what if it does rain?" was picked up. It's not the end of the world, and we'll have a story to tell.
So now that the big day has arrived in the long range forecast, I anxiously watch to see what it could be. Whether the weather is good or bad, it's what you make of it that counts. Regardless of what the skies are like on the big day, it'll be a fun day with lots of amazing people. I'll be marrying a wonderful lady and beginning an adventure where there will be days of bad weather, but hopefully more of good. The best part is, we don't have to experience it alone. We'll be together.
Weather can make you excited: "It's a beautiful day for a walk today."
Weather can make you sad: "Why does it have to rain on my day off?"
Weather can make you angry: "I just planted that tree, but the ice storm / polar vortex / sharknado ruined it."
But what I'm experiencing now is a slight anxiety about the weather. What is it going to be on the day of the wedding?
We picked May because it's not November through April where the weather is predominantly cold and ugly, especially since we were inviting out of town guests. We picked the end of May because it was more likely to be warm (along with various other conflicting events from those in our wedding party).
A few months ago, I pulled up a history of the weather from the day we're getting married and found out that historically speaking, there is a 50% chance of rain that day.
But, being the practical person I am, decided there's not much you can do about the weather, and it's always good to have a plan B, just in case it interferes with any of your visions as to what the day is going to be like.
Photo locations were scouted for indoors. Stores were scoured for umbrellas in case we couldn't find anywhere indoors. An attitude of "So what if it does rain?" was picked up. It's not the end of the world, and we'll have a story to tell.
So now that the big day has arrived in the long range forecast, I anxiously watch to see what it could be. Whether the weather is good or bad, it's what you make of it that counts. Regardless of what the skies are like on the big day, it'll be a fun day with lots of amazing people. I'll be marrying a wonderful lady and beginning an adventure where there will be days of bad weather, but hopefully more of good. The best part is, we don't have to experience it alone. We'll be together.
29.4.14
expectations and letting go
The big day is on the horizon, as in just over a month away. This scares me a bit. Routines, of which I'm a big fan of, are going to dramatically change.
I think I've fallen into the trap of thinking that the future Mrs. will be fine with how I do things so I don't need to adapt at all. Through many conversations, and actually thinking about that statement for more than 2 seconds, I realize this is not going to be the case. I will have to change how things work at home and beyond. In recent conversations, which have included statements like "we'll just keep my single bed and you can move in with me" and "that needs to go. It's ugly." I would venture to say that the expectation of not wanting to change or adapt to how the other person does things goes both ways.
I've written before about how I hate change and letting go is sometimes hard for me. I'm trying to keep an open mind. And it's helping as I purge things I don't necessarily need anymore. But the conversations over things I think are practical, despite not looking "pretty" and the the things she thinks are "pretty" but I don't necessarily think are practical are just ramping up and both of us will need to be willing to let go of some ideals and compromise on others in order to make it work.
The process of becoming one is a tension between truly giving yourself to the relationship and trying to create a new life together while not giving up the things that make you who you are, including interests, hobbies, mannerisms, ways of decorating, ideas about how things work, view of the world. and more.
Each of these aspects will not come immediately, but that's why we're in it til death do us part.
I'm reminded of the song I sang at Bible Club while growing up:
He's still working on me
To make me what I ought to be
It took just a week to make the moon and the stars
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars
How loving and patient he must be
Cause He's still working on me.
I'm far from perfect, but each day gives me another chance to grow.
I think I've fallen into the trap of thinking that the future Mrs. will be fine with how I do things so I don't need to adapt at all. Through many conversations, and actually thinking about that statement for more than 2 seconds, I realize this is not going to be the case. I will have to change how things work at home and beyond. In recent conversations, which have included statements like "we'll just keep my single bed and you can move in with me" and "that needs to go. It's ugly." I would venture to say that the expectation of not wanting to change or adapt to how the other person does things goes both ways.
I've written before about how I hate change and letting go is sometimes hard for me. I'm trying to keep an open mind. And it's helping as I purge things I don't necessarily need anymore. But the conversations over things I think are practical, despite not looking "pretty" and the the things she thinks are "pretty" but I don't necessarily think are practical are just ramping up and both of us will need to be willing to let go of some ideals and compromise on others in order to make it work.
The process of becoming one is a tension between truly giving yourself to the relationship and trying to create a new life together while not giving up the things that make you who you are, including interests, hobbies, mannerisms, ways of decorating, ideas about how things work, view of the world. and more.
Each of these aspects will not come immediately, but that's why we're in it til death do us part.
I'm reminded of the song I sang at Bible Club while growing up:
He's still working on me
To make me what I ought to be
It took just a week to make the moon and the stars
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars
How loving and patient he must be
Cause He's still working on me.
I'm far from perfect, but each day gives me another chance to grow.
11.4.14
fifty
In high school, there was a guy who people called Fifty. The rumour as to how he got the name was that someone in an older grade was walking down the hallway counting people and this guy just happened to be number 50. No other significance, but the name stuck.
When I refer to fifty, it is the number of days left between now and May 31. How does that make me feel? A bit stressed because there is a lot to be done between now and then. A bit nervous, because on that day the "me" I've had to live with all my life permanantly becomes a "we" and all my quirks - positive and negative - are laid out for this person to see, regardless of if she asked to see them. A bit tired, mostly because I've been looking up jet lag remedies and the likelihood that I'm going to spend the entire honeymoon getting over jetlag. I've heard melatonin is an option to help, but my reading suggests otherwise, mind you from a site that is selling another product.
Other things I've been doing to prepare myself, mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally:
Mentally: I've started referring to the place I live as "Our apartment" instead of "My apartment" because we'll be living there together for at least a few months. My hope is to make it feel that way. I'm also trying to figure out potential pitfalls before they happen. I won't catch everything, and there's no way of ensuring the things I've considered will come into play at the right time, but awareness is better than ignorance.
Physically: Sleep studies, CPAP machines, chiropractor, and core and ab routines, along with taking advantage of the beautiful weather we've had this week and going for a walk every day at lunch. Am I going to be in perfect shape by then? No. But what is perfect shape? My hope is to be healthier and be able to survive the night without being suffocated by my wife who is annoyed with my snoring.
Emotionally: I've been reading (listening) to The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I think I know what "fills my love tank" (excuse the really cheesy phrase - it's in the book and makes sense) and what fills the future wife's tank.
Spiritually: Read your Bible, pray every day and you'll grow, grow, grow... I'm 81% of the way through the Bible in a Year on the Bible app on my phone. I started it last May and have been moreorless consistent with reading it. I'm hoping to be finished by the end of May. Barring the day-to-day caveats of the law and the lists of numbers and names in Chronicles, I've read everything. This is the first time I've read the Major and Minor prophets in their entirety... ever. Go Bible College graduate! Have I remembered everything? No, but it's a good challenge.
I'm also reading various blogs and articles on what it means to honour God with your marriage. There's a lot of lessons learned out there by various people, so maybe I can glean something from someone. We'll see.
But for now, off to keep chipping away at the list of things to do and prepare for when the countdown is over.
When I refer to fifty, it is the number of days left between now and May 31. How does that make me feel? A bit stressed because there is a lot to be done between now and then. A bit nervous, because on that day the "me" I've had to live with all my life permanantly becomes a "we" and all my quirks - positive and negative - are laid out for this person to see, regardless of if she asked to see them. A bit tired, mostly because I've been looking up jet lag remedies and the likelihood that I'm going to spend the entire honeymoon getting over jetlag. I've heard melatonin is an option to help, but my reading suggests otherwise, mind you from a site that is selling another product.
Other things I've been doing to prepare myself, mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally:
Mentally: I've started referring to the place I live as "Our apartment" instead of "My apartment" because we'll be living there together for at least a few months. My hope is to make it feel that way. I'm also trying to figure out potential pitfalls before they happen. I won't catch everything, and there's no way of ensuring the things I've considered will come into play at the right time, but awareness is better than ignorance.
Physically: Sleep studies, CPAP machines, chiropractor, and core and ab routines, along with taking advantage of the beautiful weather we've had this week and going for a walk every day at lunch. Am I going to be in perfect shape by then? No. But what is perfect shape? My hope is to be healthier and be able to survive the night without being suffocated by my wife who is annoyed with my snoring.
Emotionally: I've been reading (listening) to The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I think I know what "fills my love tank" (excuse the really cheesy phrase - it's in the book and makes sense) and what fills the future wife's tank.
Spiritually: Read your Bible, pray every day and you'll grow, grow, grow... I'm 81% of the way through the Bible in a Year on the Bible app on my phone. I started it last May and have been moreorless consistent with reading it. I'm hoping to be finished by the end of May. Barring the day-to-day caveats of the law and the lists of numbers and names in Chronicles, I've read everything. This is the first time I've read the Major and Minor prophets in their entirety... ever. Go Bible College graduate! Have I remembered everything? No, but it's a good challenge.
I'm also reading various blogs and articles on what it means to honour God with your marriage. There's a lot of lessons learned out there by various people, so maybe I can glean something from someone. We'll see.
But for now, off to keep chipping away at the list of things to do and prepare for when the countdown is over.
14.3.14
cpapnea: the continuing saga
You would think it would be easier to get used to something that's supposed to make your life difficult. You would be wrong.
At least in my case.
In the 2 months that I've had this machine that is supposed to make it so I don't choke and die in the middle of the night, there have been a recorded 2 nights where I have slept through the night without any difficulties. The rest include the following scenarios:
I can say that the mornings where I've woken up and miraculously the mask was still on with air flowing into my face, I've felt a lot better through the day, more energy, less desire to go to bed at 9pm, no more "sleep attacks" where I can barely keep awake in the middle of the day, so I guess this thing works, despite my body's reluctance to allow it to do so.
The last two nights I've woken up in the middle of the night to find the mask off. I put it back on and, surprise, fell right back to sleep and woke up 4 hours later with it still on ready to get up and take on the day, although I do feel slightly tired.
Some forums for those with the CPAP suggest different ways of helping you keep it on at night. I've tried socks on my hands and sleeping with a pillow between my legs so far which hasn't really ended up being helpful. Others have suggested taking the pillow concept to the extreme and pretending I'm a pregnant woman (of which I am neither, for those who may be curious) and getting a Snoogle. Less dramatic options include taping the mask to my face so it's at least uncomfortable when I try to take it off in my unconscious state or even putting the machine on a level playing field with the bed so I have a bit more hose to work with.
One night at a time, and hopefully it'll lead to better sleep and a better quality of life... at least one aspect of it.
At least in my case.
In the 2 months that I've had this machine that is supposed to make it so I don't choke and die in the middle of the night, there have been a recorded 2 nights where I have slept through the night without any difficulties. The rest include the following scenarios:
- Wake up with the mask placed neatly on the side table, disconnected from the hose, and the machine is off
- Wake up and the mask is on my face, but the hose has been disconnected and it is still blowing air, wherever it may have ended up
- Wake up and the mask is on the other side of the room and I'm laying on top of the hose enjoying the warm air it's blowing
- Wake up to find the hose wrapped around my neck, which I find to be the most ironic of the options so far, as it's something that's supposed to help me breathe better doing the opposite of that (mind you, there's no way it can actually strangle me, but it was still a bit scary to wake up to that.)
- And many other alternatives... mostly variations on the same theme of me waking up to find that I've violently removed something good only to feel worse all day.
I can say that the mornings where I've woken up and miraculously the mask was still on with air flowing into my face, I've felt a lot better through the day, more energy, less desire to go to bed at 9pm, no more "sleep attacks" where I can barely keep awake in the middle of the day, so I guess this thing works, despite my body's reluctance to allow it to do so.
The last two nights I've woken up in the middle of the night to find the mask off. I put it back on and, surprise, fell right back to sleep and woke up 4 hours later with it still on ready to get up and take on the day, although I do feel slightly tired.
Some forums for those with the CPAP suggest different ways of helping you keep it on at night. I've tried socks on my hands and sleeping with a pillow between my legs so far which hasn't really ended up being helpful. Others have suggested taking the pillow concept to the extreme and pretending I'm a pregnant woman (of which I am neither, for those who may be curious) and getting a Snoogle. Less dramatic options include taping the mask to my face so it's at least uncomfortable when I try to take it off in my unconscious state or even putting the machine on a level playing field with the bed so I have a bit more hose to work with.
One night at a time, and hopefully it'll lead to better sleep and a better quality of life... at least one aspect of it.
13.3.14
resourced
One thing I am when it comes to making plans is cautious. For those who know me, you will know that in most large decisions in my life, I like to think about it. For a long time. Deciding to move forward in the relationship to the point of being ready to get married to the girl I love took some time. She was very patient with me, but the patience was wearing a bit thin by the time I finally pulled out the ring. What took me so long? I needed to be certain about the largest decision in my life. But what I realized as time went on was that there's no way to be certain about anything and sometimes you have to take the leap of faith. So, I decided to jump.
But not without doing a bit of preparation. I mentioned a few books that I have read in order to help me prepare for the rest of my life. I thought I might share for anyone who is interested in learning a bit more, or knows someone who is entering into discussions about the what if's of marriage.
Before you Get Engaged by David Gudgel, along with his son, Brent Gudgel
The premise of this is a pastor who realizes there's not much out there for those who are dating and are wanting to figure out the questions that should be considered before they go ring shopping. I bought this one in my final months at Emmanuel as I was asking a lot of questions about what my future would look like at the time, so why not ask questions about engagement at the same time? The chapters included questions along the lines of what do your friends think, what does your family think, do you enjoy spending time together, and other aspects that definitely need to be considered before getting married. The book suggested you sit down as a couple and write a letter to your friends asking for their prayerful support as you work towards marriage and, although it might be awkward at the time, to share with you any blind spots you may be missing that would lead to issues down the road. We did this and no one suggested we slow down, so that must be a good sign.
This book was recommended by the pastor of the church we attend a few years back, not specifically to us, but I kept it in mind when looking for resources.
To Become One by Chris Seay and Chad Karger
This book is one we've gone through over the past few months, recommended to us by some friends who read it before they got married a number of years back. The chapters include discussions on family, money, the S word [starts with s ends with ex, and no, I'm not talking about spandex], the wedding ceremony, becoming closer spiritually, along with others. Each chapter has some questions to discuss after reading. Some good discussions came up with this book and some issues that, although not deal breakers, will be ones we need to continue to discuss as we get to know each other. I like the play on words in the title, based off the biblical premise of two becoming one.
Things I Wish I'd Known Before I Got Married by Gary Chapman
As the title suggests, Gary Chapman goes through some lessons he's learned since becoming married in attempts to help those moving towards the wedding day avoid some common pitfalls, or at least be better prepared for when the time comes. Robin took the opportunity to go through this book and suggested I do too. So last year, I downloaded the audio book and listened to it while going for walks around the neighbourhood in Toronto. There were some things I knew already and some that I thought I knew already, but a few new things to consider. The only chapter I remember at the moment is along the lines that you wish you'd known that "Like father like son, and like mother like daughter" were more than just sayings. There are many traits and habits you pick up from your parents that you don't realize until you have a 3rd party around you all the time to observe these. It makes much more sense when you're considering the other person in relation to their family.
And finally, one book that's been recommended time and time again, but I haven't quite gotten around to yet:
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Don't worry, it's on order from the library. I'll get there and post some comments once I've had a chance to read it.
Other books that I've had from the library that we didn't get to, but look like they could be useful:
There's never any way you can be fully prepared for the unknown, but it never helps to be prepared. But then again, as Anonymous commented on the last post, "Preparing is great but probably the best thing you can do is not over think it."
But not without doing a bit of preparation. I mentioned a few books that I have read in order to help me prepare for the rest of my life. I thought I might share for anyone who is interested in learning a bit more, or knows someone who is entering into discussions about the what if's of marriage.
Before you Get Engaged by David Gudgel, along with his son, Brent Gudgel
The premise of this is a pastor who realizes there's not much out there for those who are dating and are wanting to figure out the questions that should be considered before they go ring shopping. I bought this one in my final months at Emmanuel as I was asking a lot of questions about what my future would look like at the time, so why not ask questions about engagement at the same time? The chapters included questions along the lines of what do your friends think, what does your family think, do you enjoy spending time together, and other aspects that definitely need to be considered before getting married. The book suggested you sit down as a couple and write a letter to your friends asking for their prayerful support as you work towards marriage and, although it might be awkward at the time, to share with you any blind spots you may be missing that would lead to issues down the road. We did this and no one suggested we slow down, so that must be a good sign.
This book was recommended by the pastor of the church we attend a few years back, not specifically to us, but I kept it in mind when looking for resources.
To Become One by Chris Seay and Chad Karger
This book is one we've gone through over the past few months, recommended to us by some friends who read it before they got married a number of years back. The chapters include discussions on family, money, the S word [starts with s ends with ex, and no, I'm not talking about spandex], the wedding ceremony, becoming closer spiritually, along with others. Each chapter has some questions to discuss after reading. Some good discussions came up with this book and some issues that, although not deal breakers, will be ones we need to continue to discuss as we get to know each other. I like the play on words in the title, based off the biblical premise of two becoming one.
Things I Wish I'd Known Before I Got Married by Gary Chapman
As the title suggests, Gary Chapman goes through some lessons he's learned since becoming married in attempts to help those moving towards the wedding day avoid some common pitfalls, or at least be better prepared for when the time comes. Robin took the opportunity to go through this book and suggested I do too. So last year, I downloaded the audio book and listened to it while going for walks around the neighbourhood in Toronto. There were some things I knew already and some that I thought I knew already, but a few new things to consider. The only chapter I remember at the moment is along the lines that you wish you'd known that "Like father like son, and like mother like daughter" were more than just sayings. There are many traits and habits you pick up from your parents that you don't realize until you have a 3rd party around you all the time to observe these. It makes much more sense when you're considering the other person in relation to their family.
And finally, one book that's been recommended time and time again, but I haven't quite gotten around to yet:
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Don't worry, it's on order from the library. I'll get there and post some comments once I've had a chance to read it.
Other books that I've had from the library that we didn't get to, but look like they could be useful:
There's never any way you can be fully prepared for the unknown, but it never helps to be prepared. But then again, as Anonymous commented on the last post, "Preparing is great but probably the best thing you can do is not over think it."
5.3.14
when someday becomes today
When I lived in Toronto, prior to asking Robin to be my wife, we used to go to Ikea and play a game Robin likes to call "Someday House" where we look at every piece of furniture in the store and decide if it's something we would like placed in our theoretical home that may happen someday, but definitely not today.
Shortly after getting engaged, Robin returned to Toronto and we went to Ikea again, and instead of playing "Someday House", we began to play "Next Year House". This was exciting at the time as we began to dream about things that were not theoretical anymore, but on a timeline and collision course with actually happening. Prices started coming into play, and practicality. No longer could we have 17 Poangs or Malm dressers, but only one or two as we thought about the space we may have and the money we need to not spend in order to save up money for a house, and Robin's hypothetical puppy that she's not going to get any time soon.
As we went through the months of being engaged, sometimes the realization that things were going to drastically change were in my face but other times they've been far off in Someday land as something I didn't need to deal with or face right now and then. But recently, I think I've come to the conclusion that this far off dream is becoming less and less mystical and more and more real and in the here-and-now. It could be that we're now less than 3 months away, or that we've made a lot of steps in preparation for our wedding, honeymoon, and life beyond, but the time is getting closer every day to the day that we say our vows and just like that, we have license to live under the same roof and have committed to go through life together, no longer as individuals but as a team - an equal partnership where communication is not optional and no longer is thinking of yourself first encouraged.
Someday is now 80-something days away. As someone who hates change, I've decided to make a conscious effort to prepare for what is coming ahead. This includes lots of reading including a few books that have been recommended to us, and various blogs I find on marriage and all the aspects that come with it. Some are more helpful than others, but they all give different perspectives to consider as I consider what I want to be like as a married man.
That being said, I know that on May 31, when "someday" becomes "today", expectations will be busted, new experiences will be formed, and the wait will be over as the rollercoaster that is marriage goes over the top of the lift hill and hurtles towards the unknown at full speed. Do I believe I'm prepared for what comes ahead? No. But I believe that every little bit helps in making the unknown a bit less frightening.
Keep your arms inside the vehicle at all times. It's going to be a thrill.
Shortly after getting engaged, Robin returned to Toronto and we went to Ikea again, and instead of playing "Someday House", we began to play "Next Year House". This was exciting at the time as we began to dream about things that were not theoretical anymore, but on a timeline and collision course with actually happening. Prices started coming into play, and practicality. No longer could we have 17 Poangs or Malm dressers, but only one or two as we thought about the space we may have and the money we need to not spend in order to save up money for a house, and Robin's hypothetical puppy that she's not going to get any time soon.
As we went through the months of being engaged, sometimes the realization that things were going to drastically change were in my face but other times they've been far off in Someday land as something I didn't need to deal with or face right now and then. But recently, I think I've come to the conclusion that this far off dream is becoming less and less mystical and more and more real and in the here-and-now. It could be that we're now less than 3 months away, or that we've made a lot of steps in preparation for our wedding, honeymoon, and life beyond, but the time is getting closer every day to the day that we say our vows and just like that, we have license to live under the same roof and have committed to go through life together, no longer as individuals but as a team - an equal partnership where communication is not optional and no longer is thinking of yourself first encouraged.
Someday is now 80-something days away. As someone who hates change, I've decided to make a conscious effort to prepare for what is coming ahead. This includes lots of reading including a few books that have been recommended to us, and various blogs I find on marriage and all the aspects that come with it. Some are more helpful than others, but they all give different perspectives to consider as I consider what I want to be like as a married man.
That being said, I know that on May 31, when "someday" becomes "today", expectations will be busted, new experiences will be formed, and the wait will be over as the rollercoaster that is marriage goes over the top of the lift hill and hurtles towards the unknown at full speed. Do I believe I'm prepared for what comes ahead? No. But I believe that every little bit helps in making the unknown a bit less frightening.
Keep your arms inside the vehicle at all times. It's going to be a thrill.
1.2.14
cpanea
Over the past few weeks I've been adjusting to a potential new reality in my life. Continuous Positive Airway Pressure, or CPAP for short. Supposedly I stop breathing about 5-10 times per hour, which is mild, but still warrants assistance electronically.
Enter the CPAP machine. It's a small box with a built in humidifier that blows air through a tube into a mask on your nose and/or mouth to keep the airway open at all times through the night.
I'm still in the adjustment phase and can't really say whether or not it's working as I've yet to sleep through the night with the mask on. Usually I wake up in the morning to find it disconnected from the hose sitting on the night stand and the pump has been turned off. I do weird things in my sleep.
I have another week and a half to test it before I need to decide if it's the thing for me. If so, then it's back for another sleep study at the lab and then I have the machine, likely for life.
I laugh a bit because the cause of my insomina as of late is the machine itself instead of other causes. Oh well. I'll keep on trying.
Enter the CPAP machine. It's a small box with a built in humidifier that blows air through a tube into a mask on your nose and/or mouth to keep the airway open at all times through the night.
I'm still in the adjustment phase and can't really say whether or not it's working as I've yet to sleep through the night with the mask on. Usually I wake up in the morning to find it disconnected from the hose sitting on the night stand and the pump has been turned off. I do weird things in my sleep.
I have another week and a half to test it before I need to decide if it's the thing for me. If so, then it's back for another sleep study at the lab and then I have the machine, likely for life.
I laugh a bit because the cause of my insomina as of late is the machine itself instead of other causes. Oh well. I'll keep on trying.
merge with caution
In driving, many people know that they need to yield the right of way when merging into traffic. You get up to speed in the merging lane and then wait for an appropriate car-sized space to fit into before signalling and pulling onto the road.
This concept seems to be a bit more convoluted when considering marriage. You're not necessarily merging one person's life into the flow of the others. You're supposed to combine to become one, as the Bible suggests:
Tim: What's it going to look like when we're married?
Robin: We're going to have a house, and kids, and a puppy!
Tim: Uh...
But in all seriousness, the concept of two people uniting into one is harder than it seems. You have two independent individuals who have had 25+ years each of honing their ego to the point that they are extremely stubborn and know what they like and what they don't like, coming together to be regularly in conflict with what the other person likes.
In practice, questions arise along the lines of
This concept seems to be a bit more convoluted when considering marriage. You're not necessarily merging one person's life into the flow of the others. You're supposed to combine to become one, as the Bible suggests:
I'm beginning to think this concept, always romanticized at weddings and on Sunday mornings, is more complex than easy. Robin and I have been talking about what it would look like if we were married for a while. These conversations usually went along the lines of this:
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. (Matt 19:4-6 NIV)
Tim: What's it going to look like when we're married?
Robin: We're going to have a house, and kids, and a puppy!
Tim: Uh...
But in all seriousness, the concept of two people uniting into one is harder than it seems. You have two independent individuals who have had 25+ years each of honing their ego to the point that they are extremely stubborn and know what they like and what they don't like, coming together to be regularly in conflict with what the other person likes.
In practice, questions arise along the lines of
- Which rice cooker are we keeping?
- Where can I put my single bed in your one bedroom apartment to have a place to hide when you snore?
- Whose bank are we using?
- Joint accounts?
- Where are we going to keep the puppy?
- Two cars or one?
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