"The only certain things in life are death and taxes."
This quote strikes a nerve on someone like me, who desperately hates change. I'm a man of routine. I like my safe places and familiarity is my friend. Robin notes that when it comes to the end of a vacation, she's sad that it's over and wants another 51 weeks of it, I'm looking forward to the end of the abnormal and delighted to be able to step back into my routine after the relative chaos that was my time off. So with this in mind, enter the past 18 months.
On January 2, 2012, I figured everything would continue along as it was and I was relatively happy in the complacency of my routine, a reasonably well-thought out routine that had been the norm for 6 years. Little did I know that on January 3, 2012, I would get a swift kick in the behind that not only forced my out of my Monday to Friday routine, but set a course in motion that would mess up the rest of my routine as well. This was chaotic. I was a ship adrift at sea without any power or oars, floating in whichever way the wind took me. Finally, I caught a current that led me to Toronto for work, but that meant I had to change my weekday routine to wake up before 5 and go to sleep before 10, although some may argue that I'm an old man and like going to sleep early. My evenings were shot and my weekends were full of spending time with those who I couldn't see during the week.
Finally I moved to Toronto to start a new routine, for what I figured would be 3-5 years. Very quickly I learned that living in Toronto isn't all that great, despite what those who live in Toronto seem to think. It takes forever to get anywhere, there's no social life when you have no friends in the area, it's hard to find a church when you're in Waterloo visiting your family and friends every weekend. I desired the stability and comfort of knowing I was living in a place I could consider home, but this change wasn't necessarily for the better.
After a year of working in Toronto, I made a decision that would effect my future here. I proposed to Robin. But with that came the need to fulfil a promise to her that I would not sit in my complacency of hating change and would begin to job search - something that I have never done while holding stable employment. It felt wrong. I felt disloyal. All the places I was looking were in the KW or Guelph area, which would require me to move and change everything again. I applied to two places in May, which was a big step for me, actually following through with a promise to consider something different. I didn't expect to hear anything, and I didn't, which didn't surprise me at all.
Not long after, a friend sent me a link for a job at Renison University College, affiliated with the University of Waterloo. I ignored it at first because I knew secretly that I had a chance at getting an interview and didn't want to be forced to move into chaos again. A week later, 2 days before the posting closed, another person that knew I was considering moving back to KW sent me the job description. I relented and applied figuring that maybe God was suggesting I could move back to KW and be near my family, friends, and future wife. Reluctantly I applied, recycling a resume I used to get an interview last year and barely updating the cover letter I used for it. After sending it in, I figured I wouldn't get an interview. So, a few days later, I forgot about it.
Until the phone rang. Caller ID: uWaterloo. I picked up and it was an offer for an interview. I got the details, hung up, and then promptly screamed. Loudly. I was scared that security might come up and see if I was OK. I started weighing my options. Stick with a job and colleagues I like with some potential of upward movement in the organization, or take a chance with an unknown school and job, at a school I've wanted to work at for years with lots of potential of movement upwards and lateral, and be closer to the aforementioned 3 F's. The interview came and went and a few days later I figured I didn't have a chance at it, and started to calm down despite being significantly freaked out that I may have to go through the process of chaos again. One day after I calmed myself down and felt safe that nothing was going to change, I got the offer. And screamed again.
After talking through the reasons I would move back to KW vs the reasons I would stay in Toronto, moving to KW to take this job, even though it was a relative unknown in some aspects, made sense. And so I gave my notice, told my peers, and have just applied to an apartment.
Scared? Yes. Feel like the world's in chaos? Yes. Know that change is sometimes good for you? I answer this with reluctance: Yes.
